Thursday, January 2, 2014

My resolutions (for realskies)

A new year means a new set of rules that people will make to turn into the person they want to be. Whether that person is less selfish, more active, better read, or well traveled, we each use the new year to set an expectation of how we want the rest of the year to continue.

For me, 2014 will bring a whole new set of adventure. I will be thrown into the real world and with that comes exceedingly high expectations from myself to act like a normal functioning adult (LOL).  I already made the decision to live more this year, but that's easy to do when there aren't guidelines to tiptoe.  I think that 2014, more than ever, needs to be the year to make reasonable resolutions that will pave the way into bigger and better things in the future.

Now let's explore my previous post about YOLO-ing more: be more vibrant, be less mad, be more forgiving.  I want to live more. But to do that, I must learn to love myself more.  I must learn not to be ashamed of my body, my personality, and more importantly, my mistakes that I will make all through my life.  Taking care of yourself, for yourself, and not for the satisfaction of others is the key to sticking to these changes.  Here is what I plan to change in 2014, and why:

1.  Picking at my nails and fingers | This is a habit I have had for as long as I can remember and the one part of my body I am always embarrassed of.  Strange right? To be embarrassed and self-conscious of something so simple? I am tired of making excuses for why I pick at them and I am tired of trying to hide my hands during a particularly bad week.  My nails and fingers are definitely in much better shape than they were a few years ago, but there is still lots of progress to be made.  This is something I can easily control with a little bit of discipline. Now is the time to do it.

2.  Controlling my attitude | When things don't go my way, I sure know how to throw a nice hissy fit.   Controlling my attitude has always been a struggle for me.  Negative criticism and teasing really makes my blood boil and I can go from 0 to 10 in about 2.5 seconds.  But on the plus side, I usually get over things pretty quick and am quick to forgive.  I blame this all on my lack of patience - I'm too impatient to stay mad so I just move on (JK).  But my anger and impatience go hand-in-hand.  I get testy too soon and make sudden rash decisions that I end up regretting later.  I don't want to risk losing any friendships over something that really does not need to be made into an issue.

3.  Trash talk | Closely related to #2.  Did something to cross me? You best believe I've shamed you to all my friends and then some.  The only problem is, once I've gotten over it, other people don't think I have and that makes it preeeetty awkward sometimes.  I need a better way to blow off steam and sort through my feelings than by talking trash.  If other people can get by without doing that, I sure can.

I am eager for this year and the tests that come with it because these three are definitely my biggest demons.  I've been battling #1 and #2 since my early childhood and have become more aware of my pettiness.  When I choose my friends, I don't want someone who can get angry at the drop of a hat and I don't want someone who is going to go behind my back.  I don't need to be defined by those habits anymore.  Here is to 2014, becoming my own best friend, and living life to the fullest.

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